i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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