Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
