Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
