Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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