just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
