Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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