Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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