You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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