M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
