i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
