u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize