he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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