you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
