Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
