I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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