I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize