i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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