Dual....:-)
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Never joke about your clitoris.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
