I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
