3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
