I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
