This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize