Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
