This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
