I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
