The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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