he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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