C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
