WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
