Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
