do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
