the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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