mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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