What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize