When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize