I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When are your genitals available?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
