I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
barbara walters just said penis...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
