It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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