spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
