i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
