There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
