Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
accomplished twins. life is a go
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
