Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
