I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize