Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
