I didn't shave. On purpose
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
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