Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
