she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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