i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
