Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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