We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
