My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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