Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
