You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
