Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
